Always Be Mine

Could you always be mine?

I mean, promise me we’ll grow old together drinking cooling coffee as we watch the 6 p.m. news, as we slowly nod off to sleep.

Not in a, let’s get married and walk on the boardwalk way, but a let’s travel to foreign countries and get so lost we think we’ll never get home way.

Promise me that I can knock on your door at 4 a.m. when my insides are out and my outsides are in and you are wiping the sleep from your tired eyes and we just look at each other and things will seem infinitely better.

I can promise that I will always be yours.

I will make you soup with extra noodles when your throat tickles, and sing to you 90’s pop songs when you are feeling down.

And we can run laps in the rain, and make midnight beer runs.

But I need to know that our duo will never truly die.

You can bring your plus one to my successes and I’ll bring mine to yours.

But can you promise to always be mine?

And we can be neighbors and sit on water damaged porches as our kids chase each other around, and mash dirt and leaves together in a watery soup.

And we’ll play card games like bridge, and you’ll win.

I can make cheesecake bites and you’ll wink at me because I put a couple extra raspberries on yours.

But I don’t want you all to myself.

I couldn’t handle how messy you are, or how you have to grab my shoulders and stare my in the eye every time you have something important to say.

You tend to leave the toilet seat up; and your wet socks on the floor.

I’ve never been a fan of the way you alphabetize all the spices, and organize all of your checks by date.

You’ve never liked how I enjoy shouting Celtic Women in the shower, or my tendency to leave cream cheese on the counter after making shortbread cookies.

You need someone else to balance all of your quirks.

I need someone else to fill the cracks in the broken part of me.  

But I will always be yours, if you’ll always be mine.

I want you to be the manliest maid of honor, and shake me when I am refusing to put on a thousand dollar dress so I can spend that I may spend rest of my life with someone who makes me happy. And I’ll fight the chance, for I’m weak,

I’m scared,

But you’re there. And you’ve seen me in my darkest moments,

And you know that this time,

This scary is nothing.

I hope you want me there to walk in and help you fix your tie which you have knotted in nerves

– and we’ll laugh at how our lives have changed and I will probably cry

and you’ll just look at me and shake your head and tell me that I look ridiculous with makeup running races down my face.

We’ll hug, and that’ll be the end of a chapter.

I want nothing more to be your bitch bank, your best friend, your mother, your little sister.

If you’ll be my pillow pet, space heater, older brother, and BFFL

Because I’ll always be yours, if you’ll always be mine. 

Always Be Mine

Could you always be mine?

I mean, promise me we’ll grow old together drinking cooling coffee as we watch the 6 p.m. news, as we slowly nod off to sleep.

Not in a, let’s get married and walk on the boardwalk way, but a let’s travel to foreign countries and get so lost we think we’ll never get home way.

Promise me that I can knock on your door at 4 a.m. when my insides are out and my outsides are in and you are wiping the sleep from your tired eyes and we just look at each other and things will seem infinitely better.

I can promise that I will always be yours.

I will make you soup with extra noodles when your throat tickles, and sing to you 90’s pop songs when you are feeling down.

And we can run laps in the rain, and make midnight beer runs.

But I need to know that our duo will never truly die.

You can bring your plus one to my successes and I’ll bring mine to yours.

But can you promise to always be mine?

And we can be neighbors and sit on water damaged porches as our kids chase each other around, and mash dirt and leaves together in a watery soup.

And we’ll play card games like bridge, and you’ll win.

I can make cheesecake bites and you’ll wink at me because I put a couple extra raspberries on yours.

But I don’t want you all to myself.

I couldn’t handle how messy you are, or how you have to grab my shoulders and stare my in the eye every time you have something important to say.

You tend to leave the toilet seat up; and your wet socks on the floor.

I’ve never been a fan of the way you alphabetize all the spices, and organize all of your checks by date.

You’ve never liked how I enjoy shouting Celtic Women in the shower, or my tendency to leave cream cheese on the counter after making shortbread cookies.

You need someone else to balance all of your quirks.

I need someone else to fill the cracks in the broken part of me.  

But I will always be yours, if you’ll always be mine.

I want you to be the manliest maid of honor, and shake me when I am refusing to put on a thousand dollar dress so I can spend that I may spend rest of my life with someone who makes me happy. And I’ll fight the chance, for I’m weak,

I’m scared,

But you’re there. And you’ve seen me in my darkest moments,

And you know that this time,

This scary is nothing.

I hope you want me there to walk in and help you fix your tie which you have knotted in nerves

– and we’ll laugh at how our lives have changed and I will probably cry

and you’ll just look at me and shake your head and tell me that I look ridiculous with makeup running races down my face.

We’ll hug, and that’ll be the end of a chapter.

I want nothing more to be your bitch bank, your best friend, your mother, your little sister.

If you’ll be my pillow pet, space heater, older brother, and BFFL

Because I’ll always be yours, if you’ll always be mine. 

What What DUB DUB YOU

Have you ever spun in circles and then collapsed on your back and stared at the sky?

That’s how college feels. It freeing and dizzying and sickening (seriously. I got sick within the first week) and I can’t even begin to explain everything that I am feeling.

It’s like right now. I’m curled up in a corner of the Underground Coffeehouse, drinking a mocha, slowly dying inside because I can’t connect to the internet. Yes, this post is a Word baby. I’m just bad with technology, and leaving my room to do homework that’s so based off the internet is such a pain. Yay college!

Advice for anyone going into college next year: 

It’s hard, but you need to sleep, and eat well. I know of so many people who are various forms of sick right now. The temptation to do both of these things is so great. Like, the sheer amount of sandwiches I have consumed should be banned. But it’s got hummus and extra lettuce on it and it’s on wheat bread. So I don’t feel terrible with that. Also: DRINK WATER. The water in my dorm room grows things, and it’s terrifying, and gross, and it makes me so sad, and I have just ended up filling my water bottle up in the dining hall for drinking water accessibility. Which is sad.

So, this last weekend was my first real weekend on campus. The amount of give up that you get at the end of classes is the greatest. There was a group of students that surrounded this section of sidewalk and cheered “It’s Friday!” every time someone walked by. It just got increasing louder, and they started cheering for buses and it just made me love college.

And my room is always full of people, our decorations lean on side of ridiculous and half the time I can hardly keep up.

Uhm. What else? I miss my family. A lot. And Theo. Like, there isn’t much I wouldn’t do to be with my family and cats. That’s the most difficult part about college. You are thrust into adulthood so quickly, and it’s hard to totally wrap your head around that. I’ve already mailed out two letters to my family. I’m the most accomplished kid ever.

Also, you know how I was so totally pumped to take “Intro to Word Religions?” That class is going to slowly kill me. The professor doesn’t make eye contact, and he laughs at his own jokes, and I just can’t win. But I got to meet two of my future professors today, so that was kind of fun.

College is good. Things are crazy, people are manic, and there are things that I just will never understand. But that’s okay. Because you learn from every moment.  

Shout out to Kurtis who just saved my internet, and then hung out with me. Such a pick me up J

Not a shout out to the people screaming all over creation outside the door. 

See everything is hunky dory. :)

Chain Game

So I made this list of "Western Wisdoms", wrote them on colorful paper, and made them a countdown chain. I have taped all of them on my wall, and plan on leaving them there. So, I thought I would but them on here so everyone else could enjoy what I've been using as my countdown.

Try new things
Be confident
Hard? Yes. Can you do it? Duh.
Laugh! Giggle! Chortle!
Dub Dub You!
Don't kid yourself in computers
Be A-DORK-able
Don't forget to text mom
Be Free
Red Square found friendships
Maroon 5 forever
Boys will be boys, always be you.
Love and be loved
Dance in the Rain
PicturesPicturesPictures
Be creative in storage
Skype the non-vikings
Take chances
Don't forget to sleep
2 AM convos are always good
Yoga, Zumba, Everything Good
Cuddle Puddles
Downtown, Bellingham
Pizza at 11:30? Yes.
Real life tinychat
Blanket Forts
Art Major
Beta has wonderful people in it.
Glee Club. Nuff said
Stranded? Call the Men :)
Roomie bonding time = MUST
Soul Sisters Forever.
Resist urge to purchase lots of coffee
Have you packed everything?
BREATHE.

Due to my henna, I feel like a vanilla cupcake with chocolate sprinkles.

WEEEEEE. Emotionally taxing week. I leave in FIVE DAYS. 

It's the most surreal feeling when your days in a place you've known for eighteen years are numbered. Whoa, the amount of tears I've cried in random spots, over random things is quite incredible. It's bizarre how change affects people.

So you take things little by little. And you stay up too late, and you get henna, and you dance in the sunshine, and dream of eternal cuddles. I just don't know what to do with myself. Packing is so hard. I need someone to sit in my room and point at things and just yell "Pack this! Throw this away! Why are you sitting! No fetal position for you! Breathe!" 

The man who created 'Cupid Shuffle' is on 'The Voice', huh. You'd think the serious success of that song would be epic. I'd be so happy with it. 

Oh! I got a.... TUMBLR. 

And I have no idea how it works, or what I'm doing. 

But, if you want to see the stuff that I'm 'reblogging' go... 

HERE: Love, The Hopeless Romantic

It'll be really exciting. Shout out the the lovely boy who set it up for me and is dealing with the relentless questions of not understand the site. I'm so used to this solid piece of blog. GO BLOGGER. 

Have a lovely week! I'm blogging wednesday on my countdown chain, because there is a wonderful girl who wants to see all the chains, and I've been failing her on an epic level. 

I LOVE YOU. 

Also: 

These are from my family photoshoot. Basically, I'm a mess. 

On the internet. Now I can't be haunted by how awkward I can make my ace look ;)

I go blonde, and things get better.

There are weeks that don't go your way. There are nights where late night phone calls are a must. But we pull through. Things don't look so hazy, and suddenly you come out from the foam and feel like freaking APHRODITE. 

There are weeks that remind you that better things are on the horizon. Like... College. And friends that won't have to exist on printed words on a telephone screen. Things to remind you that it's a bad day, not a bad life. It's a good mantra to have. Bad day, not bad life.

Because there are so many beautiful things to just live for. 

This week, while I hit a low, I also hit a high. I did some break through thinking. Found the flaws in my vision and corrected the sight. I've also talked to more people that I think I have ever talked to. I gots my hurr did. I forget the floaty feeling that a change gives me. But on top of the floaty feeling, I get a little more confident. I little more set and secure. I had the girls night to top all girls night. We ate food while people did karaoke around us. I'm more the proud to say that, while I didn't sing this time, next time I will find a song, and a duet partner and we're singing. And we'll be applauded and I may dance a little bit. 

I've been keeping a countdown chain for college, and it now dangles freely, with no fear of my cat attacking it. 

Single digits. 

While my stomach may reel a smidge at that; I am happy.

This week may have started with a cannon shot from hurt, but I was shot into the stars. I love when weeks tie down with happiness. It's fantastic. 

Stay silly. Stay happy. Look to the future. Life moves forward, so why look back? 

"Imma let you finish...."

I have been on semi-bed rest for the last two days. In turn, I have watched WAY too much television and scoured over stumbleupon for more hours than I'd like to admit. I'm finally feeling better, and the VMA's come on. Thanks life.

Originally, I wanted to make it this huge fitness blog where I go from my happy weight of one forty to a one twenty range. On top of that I'd talk about my art and the little things in life. But really, this is my blog about finding myself, and I love that college starts in two weeks, and this blog is so young.

It just makes sense.

Now don't get me wrong - I would love to lose the twenty pounds. But I'd rather not make an entire blog around exercise when I'm not all that passionate about it. I LOVE Zumba, and I spend a lot of extra time creating choreography for zumba numbers. I've taking a slight interest in running, and I'm hoping to expand on that up at Western.

Anywho, point of this post.

I have the tendency to over think, and then put myself in panic mode. Which isn't a quality to treasure forever, put it on a silver platter, but it's livable. That's something beautiful about being human. Living isn't always easy, but it's worth it. It really is.

So I've composed a list of things that make me smile without a doubt.

Seriously, do me a favor and check all these out when you're not feeling up to par. :]

Arctic Turn Clip (From Who's Line)  
The Bad Lip Reading of Mitt Romney, Ron Paul, or Hermain Cain
Par core clip (From The Office)
Naked Man (How I Met Your Mother)
Puppy/Cat/Babies pictures
Darren Criss Video from Tyler Oakley
Basically anything Michael Buckley

Please, please, please have a happy friday! I know I'll be struggling to find something to do in the evening while I'll my lovelies go to a football game and then a mixer. I die inside, I want to go so badly.

Also, BIG SIDE NOTE :

For the first time in what feels like ... a zillion years ... and two CD's ago, Katy Perry looks STUNNING. I can't even put into words how pretty I think she looks at the VMAs. You go, Katy :)

Hooray weekend!

"I wanted to look naked, with some lace on my bits" - Ke$ha